A Hit on a Hitman

The room was dark, hiding the man within it’s shadows. Mister Reaper was trying to be sneaky, not something he did very often but when he put his mind to it was not impossible. The light had yet to be turned on because the villain would soon do something that he rarely if ever did. He was going to take a shower. The reason the Mister Reaper was so hesitant to take a shower was because the room itself was almost always a weak point in the building; they almost always had windows these days, had extra ventilation, piping to transport water, and at least one door, which was always one to many for the very paranoid villain.

Walking into the bathroom, and over the dead man just outside it’s doorway, he kept the lights off, using a different house every couple of nights kept heroes off his tail and the body count up. With a watchful eye he kept a close eye on the window over the toilet, it had no curtains, which meant that the guy he had killed deserved it. Turning the water on to a good cold temperature, keeping the window from steaming up, and the man was down to his underwear and mask, his favorite mask, he stepped into the water and began to cleanse himself. As he cleaned himself he kept his eye on the window, being extra careful whenever he removed his gaze from it.

This would not end well, showering for the man rarely if ever did. But just as he was beginning to get comfortable something interrupted his paranoia, “You taking a shower? I thought I trained you better than that?” yelled the bird that almost no one could see. “You going to take a bullet through the head,” the bird said as it indicated it’s forehead with its wing, while in midflight. “And you know better than almost anyone that you void your bowels when that happens,” he finished as he perched on the sink.

“Would you shut up, I’m trying to be paranoid about someone trying to kill me,” he said as he looked at the bird from around the curtain. “And for the record you never trai…”

“I heard bowels,” the toilet quietly said, fear evident on his voice. “Please don’t put your waste in me. I haven’t done anything to you,” he pleaded but it did no good for the others in the room.

“Shut up!” both the bird and the villain yelled from the view point of the toilet.

Chloe positioned herself on the building opposite her target. The roof was bear, only a door and a vent. She had been following the target all day in various disguises and now was in her uniform. She pulled out her Rifle and began to find the window her target was near. She was higher above it so she put her rifle away. She pulled out her smoke grenade and threw it into the window of the room. She pulled out her Grapple Gun and prepared to enter the room once it went off. This one had a large bounty on his head. She had her pistols in her holsters on her hips. She had to get herself in there and shoot him before he knew what was going on.

It did not take a very long time for things to go from bad, as in simply taking a shower, to worse, as in somebody trying to kill him, but he had had it coming with attempting to take a shower in the first place. A smoke grenade broke through the window and began to unleash its fumes. Mister Reaper had no way of knowing what the fumes were so he simply went into autopilot, closing his mouth and conserving all oxygen in his lungs as he ran through the door and closed it behind him. He would have to act fast in order to make sure he could take this guy out. The fact that he was in both a sopping wet pair of black boxer briefs and a dripping mask, which looked really cool, did not help matters.

On the floor lay the same dead body from before, the villain picked him up and began to sit him against the wall. If the man was lucky the assassin would do the smart thing and check the body to make sure he was dead, which would possibly give him a few moments to turn the tables. Smoke puffed out from beneath the door but it seemed most of it was going through the window, making it odd that the man had not heard anybody enter into the open room. This could be an ambush. Paranoia was something that could save your life in a situation like this.

He was on full alert, listening for anything to give away the assassin’s position. Waiting for the man, Mister Reaper was ready to kick the door, and hopefully stun the pursuer, when and if they came through the bathroom. It was not the best plan but it was quick witted and would have to do for the time being. The good thing about being crazy that people did not normally prepare for the same scenarios as you did in your head, making things odd but dangerous for anyone against him.

Chloe saw smoke begin to come out of the window. She waited a few moments for it to cover the room. She aimed her Grapple Gun at the ledge just above it. She climbed her way across it, over the bustling cars and city below. She held onto the ledge and quietly made her way into the room. She had waited a bit too long and noticed that the smoke was starting to disappear. She made her way over to the door, taser in one hand, gun in the other. She knocked the door handle down with the bottom of her hand. The door sprung open and she was met with a kick from her target.

Mister Reaper waited in his place, quiet and ready for anything to happen, and though the person trying to kill him never so much as made a sound they had already made it into the room. That meant that he was not working with some rookie, this was a trained killer and someone that had to at least be pretty good at their job. A broad smile broke out across the evil man’s face, unseen beneath his mask, as he kicked the door with all of his might, breaking it with ease. The force of his kick was enough to push the assassin to the ground, giving him a slight edge, but the sound his fall told the dripping wet madman that the person on the ground was on the lighter side.

Walking around the broken door and looking in, the evil man could see the body of a small woman on the floor, a pretty woman at that. “Already on your back for me? I like that,” Mister Reaper said in a sinister tone that was something between a growl and a human voice, just something the villain did to sound more scary. Lifting his foot, the man kept his eye on the woman as he said, “I don’t prefer killing women more than men or anything. It just seems the universe has been throwing a lot of the same gender at me recently.” He paused for a moment with his foot still in the air, rubbing his chin in thought, “I just said that so your last thought wouldn’t be that I’m sexist or racist or anything.” With his words spoken he brought his foot down with all the force he could muster.

Chloe gasped, winded as His foot struck her in the stomach. She moaned in pain. She looked him in his eyes. "Really, would you kill a girl?" She rolled out from under his foot. Her hand found her Taser located at her thigh. She pulled it on the man and shot. She was hurt from the kick so she saw it didn't hit him. She quickly got up and put away the taser."You wouldn't be after anything else, would you? She purred as she stood, swaying her hips provocatively. She pulled out her gun and said, "Now don't make me use it."

The man brought his foot down, aiming to break the woman’s spine or something equally as painful, but it may have been that he was not really trying to kill the woman yet as she was able to roll out from under his foot with what looked to be relative ease. That was what the villain was telling himself anyway. She then quickly, well fast by normal people standards, pulled what looked to be a gun and shot for him but she was not quite fast enough and Mister Reaper was able to jump out of the way. Though he dodged the woman’s taser, that was what it had turned out to be, he had forgotten that the floor was still wet from his earlier escape and slipped, hitting his head on the toilet and breaking clean through it.

As he got back up, he noticed that the woman was getting up too. Mister Reaper made no move to strike the woman so that she could be toyed with and killed slowly, the preferred way. When he stood he heard the woman’s advances and saw from her skin tight outfit that she had an amazing body. The villain still wearing a mask and boxer briefs, both of which were still sopping wet, began to have a very immature reaction. His heart rate sped up which resulted in more blood flowing to his extremities so as his body heat began to rise other things did too. “You’re attracted to me?” the man said in near disbelief. “I mean, you’re attracted to me. No big deal,” he said trying to act as relaxed as he could.

"Perhaps." She teased. Her gun still aimed at him but lowered to aim at his foot. She didn't want to scare him off just yet. "Maybe I do." She said seductively, "Maybe I don't." She made sure to move her hips slowly, the skin tight suit moving along with it. She blew him a kiss with one hand while the other hand raised the gun to his chest. "Strictly precautionary."

Mister Reaper watched the girl move her gun to aim at his foot and paid the movement little attention, he knew that he was faster than her. The villain also saw the way the woman moved her hips and felt portions of his body stir, though he moved himself to try and hide anything that might be sticking out of place, she was into him. This type of thing did not normally happen for the man. Normally women would turn to get away from him, even hookers and other women of the night. Affection was something that the man had not been on the receiving end of in a long time and he was not exactly sure what to do with it.

The man’s cheeks began to flare as he looked at the woman so he turned his body from her, forgetting that she had been trying to kill him only a moment ago and that he was still wearing his mask. He dropped his defenses without even realizing it and left himself wide open to any number of attacks the woman might have in store for him.

“What are you doing?” Edgar yelled from somewhere in the house. “She’s going to try and kill you,” the bird was nowhere to be seen but he could still be heard by the villain blushing like a true madman. “That woman doesn’t like you. You’re just being a moron and falling into her trap,” even while out of sight the bird still managed to annoy the man by destroying what little he had to make him happy.

“I know,” Mister Reaper said in a quiet whisper, whether or not the woman could hear him was unknown to him, before he began to speak at a louder level, “I never got your name. Mine is Mister Reaper, came up with it myself, and yes, I know it’s pure awesome.” He began to turn to the woman as he spoke, “I’m sorry about my crazy bird, by the way. He’s crazy, what can you do?” It was only at the last moment that he saw what the woman was doing and he had no time to stop it.

Edging her way around while he talked to the air He turned to Chloe and said, “I never got your name. Mine is Mister Reaper, came up with it myself, and yes, I know it’s pure awesome. I’m sorry about my crazy bird, by the way. He’s crazy, what can you do?" She took this moment to front flip over him landing directly behind him. Her hand shot to her belt, grabbing the taser. Whipping it out, it found a place around his neck. She pulled the trigger and flipped back to his front side. She knocked her fist square into his jaw before rolling away. She kept moving so that the man didn't catch her at all. Breathing heavier now, she got up and went to punch him once more in the jaw. "My name, is none of your business."

The woman brought a teaser to his neck after doing an over the top and for the most part pointless flip, most likely just trying to get his attention. The electricity sparked on his bare flesh and made a painful tingling sensation where it touched but other than that it did very little to actually throw the villain off. Turning to keep up with the woman who was now trying to keep up the barrage by throwing a punch for the man’s face, the villain let it connect so the woman could see how powerless she was against him. The fist connected with his jaw but it was more of a playful slap than an actual attack, making Mister Reaper grin to the girl, but it most likely went unnoticed.

“You don’t seem to have a lot of power packed away in that delightful little body of yours do you?” the towering man asked the girl that was trying to kill him. Though his smile could not be seen it could be heard very clearly through his voice, “I’m going to make this beat down last a long time. Are you ready?” he gave a little as if the woman were supposed to answer him. Moving as fast as he could, Mister Reaper grabbed for the woman’s arm with the intent of keeping her there as he would attempt to punch her over and over without relenting until she was on the floor bleeding and broken, this would be a fun day.

The man made contact with her arm while the other was going to her ballistic knife. He had her by the arm so she fired the knife at him as a distraction or as an attack if it made contact. She dropped the handle on the floor after the blade had been ejected. It made a ding as it hit the floor. Her hand moved quickly, grabbing her gun she aimed it at his head, panting a bit. "Well, you put on a nice show, time to end it." She snarled.

He held the girl firmly by her arm, keeping a firm grip, making it even more difficult for her to escape. The only thing was that it also made it harder for him as well, a slight detail Mister Reaper had failed to really think through. The girl was fast but not anywhere near as fast as her opponent, as she moved for her knife it appeared to the villain as though she were moving in slow motion and readied himself for the dodge. The knife flew and the villain dodge with reflexes much faster than any average fighter but his range of motion stopped short when he realized he was still holding the girl. The blade clipped the edge of his skin and a faint line of blood began to dribble to the floor.

Mister Reaper looked down at the blood pooling on the floor, making more evidence that he had been there. The villain looked to the girl with a smile, moving his hand to his face, he then began to roll up the hem of his mask to just under his nose and stopped there, showing the woman his broad smile. He then spoke in his natural voice, sounding something like liquid gold being poured from the heavens, “It seems you’re in over your head, little girl.” His words dripped of honey and venom.

As he brought his eyes up to meet the girls though, all he saw was the metal pipe of a gun staring back at him. It stared into his soul and saw one of the only things the man truly feared, his own death. Mister Reaper could dodge a bullet, not a really hard thing for him to do, but the gun was too close and the room was too confined so that greatly limited him in his current options. So he released the girl and brought his hands up. And said in a gentle tone, “Okay, I let you go now you can go and I won’t kill you.” There was a short pause and the man filled it with a bad joke, “This will be a onetime only offer.” The smile on his face was gross because of his twisted grin which never left his face but his perfect jaw line made up for it in its own ways.

Though it might have seemed Mister Reaper was completely out maneuvered, he had a plan in case of emergencies. If the woman showed even the slightest sign that she would pull the trigger he was prepared to move forward, attempting to take the bullet in the shoulder, and head-butt the woman with all of his might.

Thinking for a moment about if she would be able to survive here. She knew she couldn't beat this man, but he was offering her a chance to leave. "Fine." She said. The gun was still trained on him as she picked up the knife she had dropped earlier. "Follow me and I will shoot you." She warned as she backed out of the room. Closing the door she exited the building, both disappointed she didn't have the money for the kill and glad she was able to leave with her life.