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Post by Lady Angeline March 11th 2011, 8:58 pm

Real Name:Nolen Sixx
Super Hero/Villain/Renegade/etc Name: the wanderor
Title:
Alignment:renegade with good intentions
Age:17
Gender:male
Race:white/german
Hair:black/red
Eyes:red
Height:5,9
Weight:155

Costume Description/Image: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://2img.net/h/i1023.photobucket.com/albums/af353/StupidPicLoad/EvilAnime3.png&imgrefurl=http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/anime-and-manga-guys-super-hot-or-super-not/question-1102591/&usg=__dOSMhBcKO2ojAewOFD2XQqDA5SE=&h=360&w=360&sz=119&hl=en&start=1&zoom=1&tbnid=JOAeu8toyHw4TM:&tbnh=121&tbnw=121&ei=pVacTZqDI8m5tgfTvqjLBw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Devil%2Banime%2Bguys%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26biw%3D1020%26bih%3D567%26gbv%3D2%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1

Personality: he is a lone man who ventures alone for a few weeks picks up friends and does missions robberies or good dead wat ever they want he is always in a down mood or quiet witch ever you prefer mostly likes cresent moon or full moon walks loves a fight holds back almost all of the time he is over welmed by darkness that clouds his soul he always carries the sword like a burrden on him since he has almost no emotions or feelings toward any one because of a tragic accident that killed all his family members at a party except his twin brother who started it.

History:Him having a tragic accident involving his entire family who was cought in a fire started by his twin brother his family was german scientis who performed exspiraments on him and his brother giving his brother complete control over water and giving him power over dark fire both having the same strength and other traits he has travled far making friends who were given or born with powers like himself he eats meals that out weight elephants because of his unique digestive system he has fought and won/loss many fights aginst enemies and his brother he has far to go and alot to learn on his quest to stay the same onr becoming a superhero or a villian.While he was being experimented on he was givin the ability to turn in to a beast that attacked everything when he got weak or got knocked out. He is un able to control this beast and is injured when he comes back to normal. But he does train to control it so none of the people hes with does not get hurt. He has yet to master both the dark fire and the beast form.

Powers: Nolen he has the ability to conjure black fire. The strogest fire he is able to use is hell fire being able to consume instead of burning its targets. He is able to make the fire hot enough to cut or melt through steel or weak enough to have a candle lit flame on top of his finger. He is able to equipt the fire to his sword to give it the effect of slash and burn or equipt it to be able to cut through tougher oblects. He is able to get the flames hot enough to instantly turn ice to steam. Basiclly he is able to bend the dark fire to his will but he does not have full control over it yet. Some more powerful attacks burn him some times.

Power Grid: (You have 22 points to spend on your Power Grid unless you can fly, in which case you have 20. Each stat can start at 6, not 7. 7 must be earned.)
Nolen
deathreaper 2uj58ut

Silver Lord
deathreaper 2lwoi7r

Role playing sample: From his home in Germany, Nolen had travled far to the contry called The United States. He first arrived in the East middle half of florida from a boat named The Ebony.On his long journey he has had many fights and encounters with his brother Floren. The last fight went on for hours on a cliff top. Both swinging at there full strength sent sparks flying and blood dripping from both of there hand for holding the sword to long. This fight came close while Nolen was shoughting ,"AAHHHHH" he swung his sword at Floren and made him back up to the edge of the cliff. He swung his sword and broke the edge of the cliff and made his brother fall. He heard his brother call for help but he looked away and right when he did his brother got up and hit him in the back of the neck. Falling on to his knees he became uncontious. His brother raced out of there while he turned into his beast so he did not have to fight any more. He always hated turning in to the monster because it seem that every one always got hurt. LUckly this time he was in the desert so there was no one around. He destroyed the cliff he was on and punched huge monds of sand until he turned back. But like always he was all burned and cut .


Last edited by deathreaper on April 9th 2011, 2:07 am; edited 17 times in total
Lady Angeline
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Number of posts : 78
Location : in the pits of burnning hell or all over the world
Age : 30
Job : kill my twin brother
Humor : 2 jews at a bar
Registration date : 2011-03-11

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Post by Arcana March 11th 2011, 9:07 pm

the power seems kinda overpowered Razz among other things
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Post by Danger March 12th 2011, 3:42 am

You can't blow up 85% of a city with EP of 6. You can't even do it with a 7. Attacks that cannot be dodged are forbidden.

If you want to make a character that creates shadow blots and fire bolts and can merge them together, by all means. Complete control over fire can't god mode someone else's control over fire if they are at equal EP.

The shapeshifting when his power hits peak power needs to be more concrete with what prime power is? How many posts does it take? How long does it last?

If he turns into a beast he needs another powergrid. It must stay within 22 points. If you lose control INT can drop to 0, otherwise it needs to stay at your level of INT. Your FS must remain the same unless you somehow lose motor skills or become a non-combat form, which this character's form is not.

This isn't my main forte, but these are glaring.
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Post by Guest March 13th 2011, 11:34 am

DUSTIN YOU DOUCHE YOU LISTENED TO ME TELL YOU AND PAT MY STORY AND YOU STOLE MY IDEAS WTF THE WHOLE EVIL BROTHER AND THE COMBINED POWERS YOU STOLE THOSE!!! Evil or Very Mad
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Post by Pain March 13th 2011, 2:53 pm

I will review this again once you've edited it. Elaine's pointed out most of the problems with this application. Well I'll add a few more. You don't have a name, and you're a little young to be so powerful (not too big a deal). You call yourself a man but 17 is not a man, you'd need to be like 20 for that. You also never stated your alignment.

You've only got 1 INT, are you aware that puts you below average intelligence? You have to RP your character as some one who's dumb, slow and poorly educated. You'll have trouble solving problems, thinking quickly, and hell, even reading would be a pain for your character. With 1 INT, you've gotta make sure you RP your intelligence correctly. I suggest boosting it up to 2 or 3 if you don't want to do that. 2 puts you at average intelligence, 3 puts you at well above average intelligence.

You mentioned having a sword, if you want an item you have to either go into detail on it in here, or make and item application. Considering you're an EP user, you'd want the weapon to be magical which means it's powered by your EP.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me or any member of the staff.
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Post by Guest March 14th 2011, 9:44 am

ok well i forgot about the bro's we shared the idea kind of, BUT YOU STILL TOOK MY CROSS POWERS!
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Post by Lady Angeline March 17th 2011, 10:12 am

im done and sry. i did not know he was over powerd some of yall need a funny bone every now and then and ninja bizzkit i did not take ur cross powers i got dark powers from a sage who trained me... if thats how u spell sage, but now he is not over powered. And since im new how do u join,jobs,quest ,missions................SORRY TADA IM DONE SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing
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Post by Lady Angeline March 18th 2011, 10:06 am

Age:17
Gender:male
Race:giant beast wolf
Hair:silver and red
Eyes:completlly black
Height:15ft when standing on two back legs
Weight:1200pounds and no hes not fat

Costume Description/Image: If description please be very detailed.This is Nolens beast form it is a giant silver wolf that has a long tail that is as strong as some armor. He is sort of huge compared to people



silver wolf by ~wolfbecks on deviantART

Personality:He is a very stupid beast that attacks every thing he sees. if some one provokes him he keeps his sights completlly on the one person he is fighting. It lones to have his own body and only a few strong people can defeat him and he at least knows this but he still qattacks them.

History:He was born inside of Nolens body after an exspirament his family performed on him. He always wanted power and so his family gave him a beast.This beast name is SILVER LORD being the top beast on all.

Powers: For durability or strength he uses his tail when he is in a tight spot for a strong attack or defense. His energy projection alows him to revert back to his normal state. In conclusion the form also hurts the host when changing in and out.

Power Grid: (You have 22 points to spend on your Power Grid unless you can fly, in which case you have 20. Each stat can start at 6, not 7. 7 must be earned.)
STR: 6
SPD: 5
END: 6
INT:0
EP: 2
FS:3


Last edited by deathreaper on April 9th 2011, 1:43 am; edited 9 times in total
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Post by Pain March 18th 2011, 2:13 pm

You don't even have a name or alignment.

The transformation you added is extremely over powered, not just that, you can't change FS between transformations. In my opinion your character is perfectly fine with out a transformation.

You should not be able to individually control fire and darkness, it'd be better if you only had the ability control 'dark fire'; your mix between the two.

". He also makes black crystals on his fingers to fire like a machine gun( each gem is sharp enough to pierce through armor. He is also able to put a black shroud around him to hide or move him self to any were on the Earth." - I'm gonna say no to both those things, you already have a major power, and the black shroud is very poorly explained. It sounds extremely OP.

The history could use a little more depth.

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Post by Lady Angeline March 21st 2011, 9:34 am

yes pain but what i dont get is how is he over powerd when my beast is suppose to have a seperate body but lives in me he also has his own stats seperate from my character and they never use each others power but i do understand about hell fire and i could make it better.
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Post by Pain March 28th 2011, 3:30 am

Alright, your powers aren't very clear, or at least not to me. What exactly can you do? You state you can make your weapons sharper by equipping things to it, do you mean your fire? You can't control both dark powers and fire the way you've stated, at least not without splitting EP; which I don't think you wanna do. I suggest choosing between either fire or dark powers.

"He also can use a shroud of darkness to hide himself from danger or escape, it is just used for stealthy purposes." - To have this power, you'll have to split 2 EP from your main power; 4 to either dark or fire, 2 to this power. If you're confused on that, just ask.

In order for your transformation to be fair, you'll have to put it down to 0 INT; that's the only way you're allowed to alter INT across transformations. You'll have to have the same FS for every form, and you'll have to remove a few powers or spend some points in EP. "He is able to howl as loud as he can making a sound mave strong enough to blow down trees 60 to 100 meters of him" - This is an EP power, either remove it, or spend some points in EP to make it powerful.

"Also thanks to his huge body weight from the fierce strength punch and his own body weight together makes his strongest punch hard to hold back" - Weight doesn't make your punches stronger, at least not here.

As for transforming, how does it happen? How does it work?
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Post by Sul-Fury April 9th 2011, 2:15 am

Edits made. No more Sonic attack, FS remains the same, Intelligence on beast form is 0, Fire attacks are at 4 EP because he requires 2 EP to Stat-shift. Ability to attack 15 times per post removed, Fire shields removed.

Approved.

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Post by Super Cutie April 17th 2011, 5:08 am

Powergrids added

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